The Best Thing That Never Happened to Me by Laura Tait

Author:Laura Tait [Tait, Laura]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781473508194
Publisher: Transworld
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-one

HOLLY

I saw this documentary once about a woman who loved the Eiffel Tower.

Not loved it in a nostalgic sort of way – she was actually in love with it. She married it. True story. It’s called objectum sexualism, or something.

I remember watching it and thinking she was a bit of a mentalist, but I’ve just decided I love my bed. LOVE it. I would definitely marry it if that meant I got to stay here for ever.

My reverie is shattered by Lady Gaga.

‘Oh, eff off,’ I groan out loud, slamming the snooze button on my radio alarm.

Incidentally, there was also a woman on the programme who claimed to be making love to her stereo, but that’s just ten thousand degrees of wrong.

Urgh – this is no normal hangover – I’m actually dying. I didn’t think I was as hammered as Alex in the park, but I seem to remember defacing a To Let sign on my way home by putting an ‘i’ between the two words with eye liner and sending a photo of it to him on his mobile.

It’s only now I notice he’s replied with a picture of Queens Road, but with an apostrophe before the ‘s’. Ha ha! It’s getting more and more like old times. That’s why I decided against telling him about the note I found. I don’t want things to get weird and awkward, like they did that last time I saw him in Mothston.

Not that it’s easy, saying nothing. What did he mean? He knew I liked him and was sorry he didn’t feel the same? Were the Jason and Kylie lyrics his way of letting me down gently, of trying to cheer me up? Or was there a message in the lyrics? Was he trying to tell me he feels the same way? What would have happened if I’d found the note at the time? I don’t suppose I’ll ever know now – Alex probably doesn’t even remember it. But I just wish I knew what—

OH, HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP. I wish I hadn’t looked in the mirror. I lean closer to check for leaves, given that I was clearly dragged backwards through a hedge in my sleep.

Scraping my hair into a messy ponytail, I practise the Britain’s Got Talent-worthy ability I recently discovered I possess to get dressed, apply mascara and brush my teeth all at the same time.

‘Meow.’

‘Morning, Harold. I’m LATE. Do I look remotely presentable?’

Whatever, she says. Just feed me.

The dried cat food comes out of its box too quickly and spills over the side of Harold’s bowl, but I’m out of the door by the time it hits the floor so I’ll have to clean it up later.

‘You look proper shite.’ Jemma sounds impressed.

‘Thanks.’ I sink into my chair and peer around the office. It’s like the Mary Celeste. All the computers are on. Half-drunk coffees and open newspapers lie next to keyboards. But other than Jemma, there’s not a soul to be seen.

‘Where is everyone?’

‘Martin Cooper was late for his breakfast meeting because I forgot to book his car.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.